A Window into Life in the Suburbs


"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." Luke 12:27 (NIV)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Disappointment

For as long as I can remember, I've been told that parenting is hard. Dr James Dobson knew that only too well when he entitled one of his books, Parenting Isn't for Cowards. But unless one treads the water, one has no notion whatsoever about the depth except in some esoteric or intellectual way. Certainly I never imagined that it would be this hard.
Today was one of those days when it hit me that there's a dark side to parenting... not necessarily in the Star Wars sort of way but perhaps in the sense that parenting has a way of forcing one to confront one's own greatest demons. The anger... the disappointment... the shame of not being able to rise above the occasion with exemplary patience.

Is it wrong to be disappointed in one's child? Simmering with frustration to see them underachieving, unmotivated when you know that they are capable of so much better. Perhaps that is how my own parents felt about me as I put them through the whole rollercoaster experience during my school years. Perhaps I expect too much of her and of myself to do it all perfectly when perfection doesn't exist for us in this life.

I am a great believer in the absolute sovereignty of God. It is the great truth that has carried me through so much in the last ten years. On a good day, I believe also that we are given the kind of children that we are given for a reason. On a bad one, I fall facedown acknowledging my own inadequacies and needs to a gracious and merciful God.

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