A Window into Life in the Suburbs


"Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these." Luke 12:27 (NIV)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Angry? Who Says I'm Angry?!!!!

Which of us don't know what it's like to blow our top... hit the roof... spit the dummy... see red or go ballistic? But when you do it in front of the kids, well it's another matter. Because you know it's going to come back and bite you. Sooner rather than later... and it ain't pretty.


Because children are mirrors... and mirrors do one thing really well... They are a reflection of reality and throw light on what is going on in the home.
I don't know how this sits with you but it troubles me. It troubles me when I see the 9 year old yell at the 3 year old and then it hits me... that she's only doing what I'm doing.

I've been doing the grumpy old woman thing a lot lately... yeah, I'm tired... not sleeping very well on alternate days but really it's no excuse to mouth off at the slightest thing. Still I do it because... too often I forget that the children are just children and they do childish things. Unfortunately the 3 year old has a strong propensity to push all the boundaries repeatedly and it's exhausting.

I talk a lot about MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) on my blog because it is one of the truly great things about my life. I joined MOPS years ago because I wanted to help out... see women like me have a relationship with God. The truth is, no matter what little I've accomplished at my local MOPS group, the lessons I've learnt from being part of MOPS far, far outweighs my feeble efforts to do some good.

Last Wed, while I was at MOPS I heard myself being talked about by our mentor. And she was right. I have been an angry person... in a self-centred fashion. Yeah, I feel I deserve better than stubborn, disobedient children who seem to have a slippery cum elastic understanding what "no" means when you reiterate it with extreme forcefulness 10 times over.

But... much as I hate to admit it... my children deserve better too. Not this kind of reactionary parenting that they've been getting but real life training on how to deal with emotions in a constructive manner. As Helen was saying the other day, I need to get back to creating pathways of expectations and have a plan.

I'm glad to say that things have been a bit better the last few days. Not great... but better... I can tell you that the 3 year old hates sitting in the bathroom for timeout... and I use a timer... it helps to keep her calm, knowing that there's a time limit to the punishment. And I'm not throwing fits of rage out of sheer desperation, for a change.
Now, if only I can find a way to keep the 3 year old's hot fingers off my gadgets. Then life will return to normal.

There's a song I remember from Barbara Streisand's Back to Broadway album... "Children will Listen". The chorus is simple and insightful:
Careful the things you say
Children will listen
Careful the things you do
Children will see and learn
Children may not obey, but children will listen
Children will look to you for which way to turn
To learn what to be
Careful before you say "Listen to me"
Children will listen

2 comments:

  1. I like your new blog look! Yes, I've had times when I'm angry at everyone and I pull myself up. It's amazing how a mother can set the tone for the rest of the family.

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  2. Yeah, I think the new blog template is pretty cool.

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